so much of life is determined by pure randomness

My mind is racing. I have so many different thoughts running through my mind. Be prepared. This post will not have a unifying theme.

I returned from my trip on Monday. No one asked me how my trip was. Med simply asked if I got some ass and if it was good. Typical response from her. She’s direct and very concise with her words.

She then proceeded to find out when PS and I were getting out of her house. Also, not a huge surprise because I’m tired of being here, so I’m sure she’s tired of seeing me here. PS was mad as hell. I could tell by how quiet she was for the remainder of the evening.

We talked about it the next day, she said we needed to come up with a plan to move. However, I’m not sure that moving in with PS makes sense to me. My plan is to be in VA around mid January or early February. It doesn’t make sense for me to get into a lease with her. She knows that I’m leaving, I’m not sure why “we” need to come up with a plan.

I’ve been thinking long and hard. I’m considering going to be with my family until I get ready to move. That means I’d be at home with the family for the holidays. Have I mentioned I haven’t spent longer than a week around my family in the last 7 years? I have so many thoughts running through my mind, I can’t process my options clearly.

The Baby wants me to move as soon as she gets back from Cali, which doesn’t make sense because I’d have no where to stay, lol. She said something to me a little while ago…She said something about us living together. Neither one of us had ever said “living together” before. We talked about me moving, but we’d never actually formed those words. The seriousness of what we were doing flipped the alarm switch in my brain. I asked her if she understood how serious this was. She asked me how serious. I said “it’s like being married.” She says, “good. finally.” I have to get a better explanation of this later.

Her male friend has seemed to back out of the whole marriage thing. She can’t get in contact with him and she says that she doesn’t want to beg him to do something he already agreed to do. Is it bad that I smiled when she told me this?

Something else that has my brain fried? My ex got married. Being the political buff that she is, I checked her blog last night for some mention of Obama and I was slapped in the face with pictures of wedding rings. I feel so hypocritical.

I keep thinking how we only broke up in mid August. Less than 3 months later, she’s married? But I’ve moved on with my life, so this shouldn’t bother me, right? I’m not sure why I’m bothered. I never saw a future with her. I didn’t even like her when we first started dating. She was an option, not a priority. Jealousy, maybe? I don’t know, but I don’t like it! Writing is therapy for me. Maybe I need to tell the story of my last relationship?

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