My first 24 hours in VA was so emotional. It felt so good to see the Baby. She gave me this huge hug and we loaded up my bags. I wasn’t in the best mood though. I warned her before she saw me because I knew that PK was going to be there and I didn’t want him to think that this is how I behaved all of the time.
Truth be told, I was a little irritated that he was even going to be there. I just wanted her, a shower and a bed. That’s not what I got. We went to dinner first. It was one of the most awkward situations…I wasn’t going to write about this, but here we go…
I sat at a table with PK on my side. We sat across from the Baby. I sat and watched them interact and it made me feel so out of place. She and PK went through military training together. They have experienced the same things and have spent more time together than she and I. I didn’t know where I fit.
After dinner, they snuck me on base and dropped me off while they went to find me alcohol. When I got out of the shower, she was laid across the bed sleeping. She slept off and on for most of the night. She stayed awake long enough to take half of a shot with me and to have some really awkward sex.
The next morning, I woke her up just in time to go to basketball practice. I realized then that we hadn’t had a real conversation yet… I took that time to reflect, to cry and to question my decision. I hopped in the shower and let the water rinse away my tears.
I was startled when I heard her voice screaming. She was asking me my password to my laptop. I screamed back from the shower. She couldn’t get online, she said. I told her to check the cords because I had just been online. She yelled, telling me to get out of the shower and help her. Surely, my ears were playing tricks on me.
I got out of the shower and asked her why she was yelling at me. She said she had been trying to call me, but I had been in the shower forever and I was never there when she needed me. I don’t remember what I said to her. She tried to ask me about food. I told her to just go. Just go. Just go.
The shower rinsed away the new tears. I was here less than 24 hours and she was yelling at me? For no reason? This is what I picked up and moved for? Surely, she has lost her fuckin mind.
I finished up my shower. I saw the light on my phone blinking. She had called me literally 4 minutes after I had stepped foot in the shower. She’s always so extreme! She was in a rush to get to the dmv to get the tags for her car and it closed at noon. She didn’t know where it was. Somehow, her lack of planning gave her the right to yell at me.
She text me, asking me to call her when I was out of the shower. She sounded so sweet on the phone, but I didn’t have any words for her. She apologized. I didn’t accept. She tried to make small talk, but all I had were small words. Yes. No. I don’t know. She asked me if I was still mad with her. I told her we needed to talk in person.
When she came back, her first words to me were, “Will you help me find places to get inseminated?” “No,” I answered quickly. That began our conversation. I told her I felt like I didn’t fit. I told her that I didn’t come here to be part of some weird 3 person relationship, even if no one was fucking the other person. I told her that I didn’t feel like she wanted me here, not with her stankin attitude the night before and her yelling at me that morning.
She told me that this was her first relationship. She told me she was scared she wasn’t going to be good at it. She told me that she thought that having other people around would make things easier for her.
And that’s when I stopped being mad.
While I didn’t appreciate her yelling at me, I failed to realize that while I was sitting around feeling sorry for myself, she was under so much pressure herself. I told her she was going to have to come up with another way of expressing her anger. She agreed.
Then she left with PK to go pick up her car…
This has become longer than I intended and I didn’t even tell you what happened that night…
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One thing that you have to remember is that you two are in it together. Just as it may feel a little weird for u it probably feels the same way for her as well. I’m sure eventually it won’t be so intense. Best Wishes!
That’s one helluva day Alix. Good thing you have this as an outlet. Grant it, there will be an adjustment period but the only thing you really have to adjust too is your new wants and desires.
So what do you want?
I know alot of people will probably say, relationships take work and all that blah blah, but honey… is the insemination a new topic or is this something you all have been discussing? I hope this isn’t for the money/benefits as well?
It is okay to change your mind. If you don’t find yourself or your relationship going in the direction that you want to go — you can turn around.
I don’t know if this helps knowing you are not alone in this situation, but over here in Singapore I know many couples who have married for ‘conveniences’, like getting a government subsidised apartment. I personally know two gay couples who have done this, and from what I observed it’s mostly about laying down the rules and loads of give and take. Seems like once they have done that, what’s left is just the little kinks to iron out. I applaud anyone who is persevering in such relationships, it’s so tough that I can’t fanthom myself in one.
But I do hope things work out for you… it just sounds like she’s probably finding it hard to tell you what is REALLY bothering her by disguising it as another topic.
I don’t even have any words…..(((((Hugs)))))
Curious about that night though!
Sorry love, I hope it all gets better. Who knows maybe to make-up for the arguing she’ll let you watch PK! lol
damn. i think there will be a rocky adjustment period (there usually is) my sweetie moved in with me in May, and we are still adjusting
so what did happen that night???
That’s a lot to take in. Immediately, I was thinking get on that midnight train to Georgia. I knew it would probably be awkward at first, but it seems you experienced more of a hostile situation. I hope the next 24 hours go differently, especially since you two had a conversation about each other’s feelings. BTW, where did this insemination question come from? That came out of left field for me. Had you all discussed insemination prior to your arrival?
Wow. Sounds like a rough 24 hours. I feel you about being in a relationship that seems to have three people. I know that one like I’m looking at my twin.
I hope things begin to go a bit more smoothly. Given time, they probably will.
I’m sorry things have been rough so far. But you two are still trying to work through so much that it’s gonna take a while to adjust. Hang in there. You know we’ll all be here.
hmmmmmmmmmmm……………………..
screeching at you followed by wanting artificial insemination is a little much
hugs, abg
hope you work it out
hope ur ok
i really do
Change and adjustment….don’t sweat it.
Well, fuck, that answered a lot of those yes/no questions I wanted to ask on the phone, particularly about whether they were all tight and shit and how that made you feel. Usually I’ll read through comments before commenting myself, to avoid duplications, but I’m just home, and too damn tired and eager, so forgive me if I repeat.
Puppy, I know she’s young and inexperienced but neither of those are excuses for her behavior! She should be so fucking blissed out to have you there that she’s doing all she can to be with you alone every second, and whatever she can to please you, to show how much she appreciates you uprooting your whole life for her!
And, um, about the insemination? What the fuck kind of timing is that???
Ohh, Puppy! We have to talk tomorrow! And I”l be available for hours…
I haven’t been online for the past 2 days. I’m playing catch up now…
@Glennisha- I realized later that she was probably going through something too
@Tamara- We talk about her getting pregnant every month while she’s pms-ing. Every month I tell her it’s not the right time. She’s been wanting a child ever since I met her over a year ago.
@ngeowkia- rules and give and take. That makes perfect sense to me.
@sipoftea- I’ll post about that night later today. I promise!
@stillbee- she still isn’t budging about PK and he is just too eager to let me watch. I almost got in trouble about that last night, lol.
@tami- you’ll have to wait to hear about that night with sip!
@steadycat- things are already more smooth. I think everyone was a little stressed, but that’s another story…
@deepdiva- I know yall will be here. I must admit I was hesitant about writing about the bad stuff…And this isn’t all of it…Then I remembered the point of me being anonymous is to be able to completely true…
@ulla- I’ll always take your hugs. I’m much better now.
@AJ- I’m not sweating it anymore. I’m over it.
@Mermaid- You took the words out of my mouth with everything you said… I called you later on that night we talked and left you a vm…
Wow! I guess I should’ve started with this post and worked my way up. Great stuff.