Sunday the Baby and I spent all day up under each other. We talked, cuddled, listened to music. We got used to being in each other’s space. She does this thing where she tried to lay her big head under my neck…That’s her favorite place now.
Monday we ended up moving to another hotel. In the process of this move, we ended up having a very heated discussion about her being inseminated. Once again, I stressed that it wasn’t the right time. I asked her to revisit this again in a month. After we’ve all gotten to know each other’s personalities, after the apartment is furnished, after a budget is in place. I asked her how much diapers cost, how much formula cost…She had no answer. Honestly, I don’t know either. I knew that the right time wouldn’t be in a month, but at least that would buy me more time…She told me I should be happy to have her give birth. I could stay at home and be the baby’s nurse. Nurse? NURSE? I was so heated I couldn’t even speak. She went to work, I got a text from her later asking me to keep my breath fresh and did I use a tongue scraper?
This is slightly embarrassing to talk about. As I write about it now, I realize I left out how she told me she was going to have to give me kissing lessons. That was on Saturday.
I was ready to strangle this little girl. I say little girl because her behavior was that of a child.
I dried up my tears and gave her an old fashioned cuss out.
And don’t you know she came home that night trying to be sweet? PK was in the room with us now too. They both had to move out of the barracks in order to get money for housing. Makes no sense, but they have to be out before they will pay even if they don’t have a permanent place to go.
PK was super sweet to me that evening. I actually spent more time talking to him than the Baby. She took some sleeping pills and went to bed when she realized we were both ignoring her. Hours after she fell asleep, I knew I would be ok. Oddly enough, it was because of PK.
The hotel we were at advertised wireless, but it lied. When I thought I saw a rat run across the counter of the kitchenette, we moved to another hotel. That was last night.
Today, I feel good. I’ve been super sensitive to the things the Baby has been saying to me. It’s felt like a personal attack, but now that I’ve seen how she interacts with PK, I realize that is just how she is. It’s sad. I’m going to have to teach her social skills, like tact.
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wow. whats up w/ all this insemination stuff anyway?? where did that come from?
Tami, this girl wants a baby. Badly. She’s got some abandonment issues, so I think she wants a kid because she knows it’ll never leave her… It doesn’t help when I get tipsy and text her saying I want a baby. It doesn’t help that PK wants a baby too. I’m just the only one saying not NOW…
I know you told us from the git go that she’s very young, and emotionally, in some ways, much younger. But I swear to fucking god, the blind irresponsibility of this baby thing, at this stage of your relationship, sounds more like an 11 year old (couldn’t even bring myself to say 12)! She wants to fucking play house, without the slightest clue how it’s done, or even WHY!
Sounds like TACT is about the least of what she doesn’t know.
Sorry to be so worked up, but I AM, I’m flipping out over here, crying and shit!
Ohh, Puppy, I hate that the phone thing is so fucked up!
Now that kissing shit would have pissed me off! But hey, everyone has their own way of kissing, and trying diff. things makes it fun!
They need to think before having babies though seriously, ’cause my mom runs a daycare and just being around kids all day…man oh man…and living with them too! gah! it was horrible…babies are a gift and all but only when they are birthed when you’re comfortable and too sure.
@Mermaid- You are absolutely right. All I can do at this point is continue to voice my opinion…
@Bee- The kissing shit did piss me off. I am very cocky (and confident) about everything I do with my mouth…ahem… We don’t kiss the same way and truthfully, if anyone has issues it’s her. I didn’t get to this age without learning how to kiss. She’s the inexperienced one.
I’m going to keep postponing this whole baby thing…I get exactly what you’re saying…
Hell, I don’t know know what to say. Okay, is she planning on having PK contribute the sperm for her insemination? I mean it seems like it would be considering they’re “married” now. I’m upset about this too. What kinda mess is going on? I’m about to be 30 and I know I’m not even ready to have a baby. Too many responsibilities and I’m still pretty selfish to give all that time and energy. Anyway, ABG, I’m rooting for you. Keep ya head up.
Ladybug, I’m 31 and I want kids, but I’m not selfish enough to bring them into such a new situation…Yes, she wants to use his sperm. I just wish he would tell her no. Maybe I should be working on him and not her. He’s much more logical than she is, lol…
Oh wow.. I can most certainly relate to the baby thing, because my Moody is constantly asking me to get pregnant, or think about getting pregnant, or adopting, or whatever so she can have a baby! It’s a hard thing because she is unable to carry a child and really really wants one, so I’d be the one to do it. I think our relationship is too new for baby talk (5 months) and I’m completely uninterested in having sex with a man to make a baby, so I have no idea how that is going to work out…God bless you for saying a month, I’ve been telling Moody ask me again in a year..lol
That kissing problem is actually a very common problem couples have, yet many people don’t ever tell their partner about it. I have dated some bad kissers before (not saying you are, but it’s all about perception) and I never said anything. Perhaps the delivery could have been better, but hindsight is always 20/20. Just remember the big picture: you love your Baby, so the other stuff you can deal with
Hi Alix,
GO SLOW! There are some serious warning signs going on. First there is the third party living with you. That could be a problem longterm. Second, your baby seems to lack tact. There are ways to say things to people you love so as to not hurt them or atleast make it as painless as possible. The texting thing was so uncool.
Anyway, as I said go slow. You are in a new city, in a new situation. Okay I wasn’t gonna say this but have you considered getting your own place for a while? Until you get used to your new surroundings? Sometimes it helps to have the security of your own space.
I can’t give you the best advice but I really like what Monie said. If you had the money, you could get your own place. I bet she could figure out how to move in with you and the guy can get his own apartment next door or in the same building or whatever. I was in a relationship for 5 1/2 years and I could never get rid of the third party man that was part of my relationship. We finally broke up and he is still there. I’m furious, so I really cant (like I said) give the best advice right now.
You might have to start thinking about what is needed for your relationship with her to be good and start requesting some of those things. Or not.
With tax, a can of formula that will last my son MAX 3 days is $31.29. My kids are allergic to milk proteins and need formula that is a little more expensive, but it is close. Diapers and wipes for a week is about $35.00.
But money is neither here nor there really… what you should be thinking about is your freedom. I remember the days when hubbs and I would just hop in the car and go to the beach, or go see a movie, or just go drive. Now, you have to make sure you feed the baby, change the baby, pack the babies things, pack the baby, and deal with him/her the entire time. I love my kids and I can’t imagine my life without them, but they stole my freedom and I wont get it back until they are 18… at the earliest. You’re young, you guys have plenty of time. Make her watch the show Baby Borrowers, I think it would change anyone’s mind!
@Monie and Steadycat- I have definitely thought about finding my own place. Unfortunately, that’s not something that can happen now. Gotta get a J-O-B first.
@Deirdre- I thought about that too. The Baby has had a rough year, so has PK, I wonder why as soon as they get on their feet, they’d want to complicate things by having a kid. I have told the Baby (and any other gf I’ve had) that I wanted to wait at least a year to just enjoy being together before having a kid.
i’m stuck on the baby thing…it doesn’t seem rational at all. is her reason for having a baby have anything to do w/ not wanting to get deployed?
Tami, that’s definitely a part of it. Her unit is supposed to be deployed in June or July, I think. In her mind, she’s got so many reasons to do it…but none of them actually make sense. I’ve told her that being pregnant would only be a temporary fix, but she thinks if she times it right she’ll be able to coast through her remaining time. And she won’t re-enlist.
hmmm…okay…
babies are the real deal, i mean she has to understand that this is nothing to take lightly at all.
if she is deployed are you able to stay there or will you move with her?
I’m not following her into a war zone. I’m not that crazy, lol. I’d stay exactly where I am at that point in time…
lol lol i don’t blame you! but she may very well be deployed overseas for a peace keeping mission or something like that. lot’s of folks goto Germany or Guam.
I really can’t see myself following her out of the country. Especially with the way she’s acting now.
Oh shit! I haven’t been on here in a while, and it looks like I missed a lot of good stuff. YAY! I can’t wait to read more. Do you think if you were all gung-ho about the baby situation she’d even go for it? It’s all fun and games until it becomes reality, y’know?
Alix, I don’t blame you for that
@Bri- I can’t play games with her like that. She’d take me seriously.
@Tami- I haven’t completely lost my mind yet…
i’m worried about the stress all of this could put on you.
Ulla, honestly, I’m not stressed out. I was my first couple of days, but now I’m cool. The weird thing is that I write better under these circumstances. When everything is happy and cheerful, I don’t have a darn thing to say, lol…
GRRRRR! Hotels with no wi-fi reek!