I was asking you why you don’t identify and I still can’t completely say I understand. I believe you don’t identify because you don’t want to. Which is your choice. When I posted the blog, I asked if we were talking about attraction or commitment, I never asked why people didn’t identify because I believe that it’s your right not to. Do I think you should? Yes. Because it makes the lives of those around you that much easier, but no one can force you to.

It’s always nice to ask how people define things just to make sure people are on the same page. Often that requires more time than you have. And more time than people are willing to devote.

And finally we agree on something. Assuming will get you in trouble, every single time.

As for the gay thing…. not everyone would agree with you, and that’s why they don’t identify with that label. Originally when you posted this blog, you were asking WHY people don’t identy and you just answered you’re own question. Whenever someone tries to label anything that I do I ask their def first, like a date. Not everyone’s def and expectations are the same, so I just ask. Assuming always gets you into trouble.

Now about this whole sex thing, are you saying all people are straight until they have sex with someone of the same sex? That can’t possibly be right. You know who you’re attracted to before you act on the attraction. It’s not the sex that makes you gay, straight or bi. It’s the attraction leading to the sex. There are plenty of women that discuss how they knew they were gay, but married in hopes of suppressing that attraction. That doesn’t make them any less gay.

I don’t insist on the titles. I don’t like titles. Like I’ve said, I understand while their necessary. I also believe that titles are subject to change.

This leads me to your next two paragraphs. You say that the dictionary defines the terms of gay, lesbian, and being bisexual, but your next paragraph is a complete contradiction of that. If your friend has never slept with someone that’s the same sex as she is… then she’s straight. According to the dictionary, homosexuality is defined as having a sexual orientation with someone of the same sex… just fantasizing doesn’t cut it.

If you were to ask a man if he was gay, usually a person would take that to mean that man is not only sexually attracted to men, but also sexually active. When this doesn’t have to be true. All I’m saying is everyone’s def is different. What the dictionary states is actually irrelevant, because not everyone decides to adhere to those definitions. I knew I was attracted to women loonnggg before I ever met lex…

Idk, I don’t mean to belabor my point, just to say because everyone is different. As for the past, I def do NOT agree that it’s a “great predictor of future behavior”. People change all the time. You can’t go off of the past, I will say that sometimes the past can repeat itself, but a great predictor? No. Based off my past, I never would have gotten with Lex becasue I was only ever involved with men. It didn’t predict anything.

Who defines the terms? The dictionary. That’s why if you say bisexual most people will immediately understand the meaning behind it.

I have a few readers that have never slept with women, but they are gay. They know that for a fact. I’m sure they fantasize about sleeping with women so the fact that they haven’t actually done it, doesn’t make them straight. There are women that are gay as hell and sleep with men that are in denial. They are gay as hell. It’s not really about who you’re sleeping with, it’s about the attraction you have. As long as you’re attracted to men and women, you’re bisexual.

The recent past does matter. It’s a great predictor of future behavior…

I do miss how a man’s body feels on top of mine. yea girls are passionate and more sensitive etc.. but The feel of a man’s hard arms and legs on my body can’t be replaced.

Your words from your first comment. That’s hugely different than looking at a woman when you’re already in a relationship. That’s something another woman will never be able to duplicate.

As for your last sentence, I wouldnt say that I “craved men”. When I was with lex… I was with her. Yes there are times where I can see a man and find him physically attractive, or admire his arms etc… but that’s where it stops… how is that different from seeing an attractive female and admiring her body?

I am very interested to know what it is that you tell women you are interested in when you meet them. I can’t imagine how it would feel to know that the woman I liked still craved men.

While no one likes to be labeled or defined by other people, it serves an immediate purpose. If you or this young lady said to me within the first 5 minutes of us meeting that you were bi, I would understand that you liked men and women. If I continued to talk to you, then you could explain all of the different nuances of your sexuality. Many of my readers believe that bisexuality isn’t a 50/50 thing. You don’t have to like one sex just as much as the other. You just have to like both sexes, period.

Thoughts?